Friday, July 09, 2004


Did you by any chance go to Co***el Fr**k S***y School in Cal***ton?

Email me back if you did!

Do you remember me?

[signed their name]


Someone from school saw my forwarded email and has sent me a message. I guess this is what being famous must be like. Here's the reply I didn't send because it made me look a bit bitter:

Hey [Their Name]

I did go to C*S school, and how could I forget you! I still have the scar from the time you punched me so hard in the face that my teeth punctured though my cheek and began to protrude on the outside!

How are you mate?

Regards, Jez.
The Xyl0phone Man thing has also taken off. It's really good to see the people of Nottingham recognising this guy. I've been forwarded my own email (complete with two mis-spellings and bad grammar) five times now, so people obviously care about him. We've got 1000+ signatures now.

I've also been informed that the people he lived with can't afford the funeral. I'll post more info on donations when I get it.

I've also managed to keep the media interest in the story away from my blog. I'd really like this to continue, if at all possible.

Not much else to report- I've applied for a few jobs today and lazed about. I've re-registered popdizzy.com after reordering my credit card. That'll be back online sometime on Monday. I quite like having a personal psychoblog as it allows me wallow in my depression and I get sympathy from my readership (which makes me feel good at the expense of making me feel cheap and shallow, which is never a bad thing).

Blang.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004




"I don't play accurately - any one can play accurately - but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life."


Xylophone Man, Nottingham's most famous musician, has died at the age of 73. For those who have never lived in Nottingham, Xylophone Man- or Frank Robinson- has been a familiar fixture here for the past twenty years. You could see him most days in Lister Gate or by the Council House playing his xylophone (well, strictly speaking it was a glockenspiel) in his own unique way.

I used to be obsessed with Xylophone Man as a child. Whenever I'd go to town with my parents I'd always be looking out for him, and if he was there, I'd beg for some money to give to him. I remained fascinated by him as I got older and at the age of 15 I started to talk to him and teach him how to play a few tunes (which he never managed to learn).

To say Xylophone Man isn't a natural musician would be something of an understatement. After twenty years of playing his xylophone he still couldn't manage a recognizable tune, preferring instead to hit random notes to a random rhythm.

But to criticise him for his playing ability is to miss the point- he played with verve and passion, and derived much pleasure from what he did. He seemed to get so much joy and happiness from playing his xylophone, and that'd rub off on you when you walked past.

Most of us live our lives as office drones; mindlessly doing the same thing until retirement and deriving very little pleasure from what we do. Xylophone Man lived different; he found his niche and managed to find a way of life that gave him much happiness. In a bizarre way, I was always kinda envious of him.

Anyway, I've set up an online petition calling for Nottingham City Council to erect a statue, and for Nottingham Express Transit to name a tram in his honour.

I hope you all find time to sign the Xylophone Man Petition.

Monday, July 05, 2004



No Daleks and Billie Piper is to play the assistant in the new Doctor Who. Where did i put my Prozac? Do I have enough for an LD50 dose?

Why you gotta play that song so loud?
Because we want to! Because we want to!
Why you always run around in crowds?
Because we want to! Because we want to!
Why d'you always have to dance all night?
Because we want to! Because we want to!
Why d' you always say what's on your mind?
Because we want to! Because we want to!

Sunday, July 04, 2004

My sister has been coming to my room a lot recently asking for "exerstensual books". My sister isn't must of a reader and for her to be asking for these books is a bit out of character (the loveable drug abusing fag-hag that . I started her off on The Outsider by Albert Camus. She managed to read this in a day so I gave her my anthology of Kafka short stories. She'd devoured it within two days.

And so it went on; she came to me every few days and each time took away a different book. I got a bit suspicious when she took my book of Orwell novels- consisting of some 900 pages- and returned it within a week.

I confronted her about and she confessed all- she wasn't actually reading the books, but rather trying to woo a well-read (or "lush") guy at work by having the book 'accidentally' fall out of her bag whenever he walked past.

Isn't she just adorable!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Not much to report- I've been applying to Proper Jobs and doing some freelance techy stuff. I'm having trouble writing my CV- how do I explain being (effectively) sacked from a call centre and then failing a Pg.Dip.SHiTT. I also went to the CAB last week to get some info on bankruptcy only to discover today that Cuntbornak has beat me to it.

This blog has also attracted the attention of a comment troll. I know which fuck-up is doing it and it can stop. Thanks xxx.

Onto the less disinteresting stuff:


MARCO IS GODDESS






cut and paste the GODDESS code:



<center>
<img src="http://www.thisisbigbrother.com/bb5/marco/marco.gif">
<h1> MARCO IS GODDESS </h1>
</center>

Friday, June 25, 2004

Ooo. My results were posted to me today and I've failed a module!!!

How awful! I've never got below 62% in an assessment anywhere at any university before. Now I've got a big fat ZERO in an assessment!!!

How awful, must cleanse.

One module has four equally weighted components and I've failed just one of these components. We had to analysis some numbers and submit the statistical write up. This i did, but unbeknown to me, we had to submit the statistical output as well. (the computer program we use churns out pages and pages of statistical output and this, apparently, needed to be submitted with the assessment.)

It's such a waste of paper! and i have no recollection of the assessment question saying there needed to be output.

I'm appealing the decision but doubt it'll go through.

Anyway, this is somewhat reassuring. Even if i had the course fees i couldn't continue with the course so it's my stupidity, and not poverty, that's preventing my progression.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

I have a load of gmail invites to get rid of. Give me an email on ni><ond∑a@hotmail.com if you want one.

(substitute the >< for an x and the ∑ for an e )